Still not dilated past a centimeter and last week I was 75% effaced and this week I'm 50%. Dr. Stone says it's likely we're going to go past the due date and we'll discuss how I feel about induction at next week's appointment. My cervical checks are still so painful! It's ridiculous, it's like my body is literally trying to close itself up. Makes me think an episiotomy is inevitable. So be it. I'm starting to get a little impatient, I really want Baby Bear on the outside, but at the same time...
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I did so much in reorganizing the baby's room yesterday that I'm totally beat. I did more lifting than is probably good and my back is reminding me that I still have a lot more limitations than I'm used to. I've also been on pins and needles waiting for movement inside and it's deep sigh of relief when I feel it. The room is the same layout I wanted for Robin. I hung up the decorations I bought and cleared out some of the boxes we'd been storing in there. The crib mattress arrived today, it's...
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Mike finally read to one of our babies in the womb. He waited and waited to talk to Robin because he wanted to know whether it was a boy or girl first and then the opportunity was gone. On Christmas he wrapped a book for Baby Bear and I got to unwrap. It was How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Last night he read it to my belly and the dogs on the bed. I used to read to Robin and the dogs would come in and lay on the couch or the bed to listen (and fall asleep). I haven't worked up the nerve to st...
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These pains are just something I'm going to have to live with, but I'm A-ok with it. Our baby is a bundle of movement with a very strong heart beat. I got a prescription for my migraines. Hopefully this is works as it's our last defense for them. But at this point I'll suffer through anything. Our anatomy scan is on December 22nd and I'm a bundle of nerves.

My doctor did a sonogram to give me peace of mind and she made a strong guess as to the baby's sex but the machine isn't the best quality...
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Just a quick update, I made an appointment for the 14th to go to the doctor to discuss my aches and pains. More than anything I just want to hear that heart beat. If I can hear that heart beat, it'll be easier to wait for the next sonogram on the 22nd. If I had to go two more weeks just floating along I think I'd become overly emotional and not know how to release it. At least now, I know I can actually see my doctor to discuss my intense concerns right now (and if they try to make me see the...
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My appointment on the 4th didn't bring the disappointment I had set myself up for. There's some growth and the beautiful flicker of a tiny heartbeat. I've never felt such relief. It didn't last long though. My next appointment isn't until November 1st and I'm already on pins and needles. It feels like an eternity until then. I just need to keep making it to the next appointment. And then the appointment after that.

A friend came over to drop off her dog for us to watch while she goes to Vegas...
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I don't know what happened to me in the past five or so years, but I've become a real girl. But I've not quite grown up. So it's not at all unusual that I DVR'ed The Princess Diaries movies. I actually just finished reading the books, so I wanted to see what artsy liberties Disney had taken with the movies (turns out, more than a lot). But there is a line that struck a chord with me, "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something is more important than fear."

Tha...
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We got a positive pregnancy test yesterday morning. September 11th, a day I always remember but without negativity. I believe if a nation continues to recall that day with such unhappy thoughts and feelings it will only attract more negativity. Mike's mom had planned a beach barbecue for yesterday and I was hoping to get a positive result so I wouldn't be completely misunderstood. She wanted to celebrate the summer birthdays and Robin's due date was August 10th, the same as my oldest brother ...
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