I've been giving it some thought (there's a shock, and no pun intended) but I just realized a greater argument for our calling our baby It. Obviously, there aren't too many other options when you aren't willing to divulge the sex with he or she, but what is the most common phrase on birth announcements?! "It's a boy!" or "It's a girl!" For heaven's sake, the It refers to the baby! So what on earth is the big deal? I hate coming up with these conclusions so much later than the moment they're n...
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My husband has been "suggesting" that we start telling more people. I know it's hard for him to deal with people at work about it but it's still too soon for me. If I had my way I'd not tell anybody until the baby's crying in my arms. But he thinks that's not a good a idea nor would it be possible. So after my last appoinment, I told him that after the new year we'll start telling a few more people. He has my friends working for him and I'd prefer they not know just yet. I know that makes it ...
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The fertility stick finally showed two double lines this morning. We've been "practicing" just in case I might have read something incorrectly. But I think this one is correct. Not to be too graphic but the coinciding discharge matches what the stick says. I'm pretty sure I've entered the fertile days before ovulation. Now I'm really feeling iffy. What if all the "practice" actually did more harm than good. Like his swimmers have been flowing too freely so they aren't as strong. Or what if I'...
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Tomorrow I start peeing on sticks. I've never used an ovulation kit before. I've also started taking my temperature in the mornings, but I think I started doing that a little too late to really figure out my average.

I did a fertility ritual, I'm through with prayer although I know there's some that would argue that there isn't much difference. I feel that there is. Prayer feels like begging and I will not do that. I will not beg a god that took away the greatest gift I've received. I spent s...
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I'm planning to start using an ovulation kit the day after tomorrow. I'm nervous as hell. I want it to be easy, but at the same time I'm freaking out about how I will handle being pregnant again. And then how will I feel if we don't get pregnant again right away? It's very confusing. I can feel a twinge of excitement that I'm keeping in check. I don't want to get my hopes up and fall deeper when the pregnancy test comes back negative.

I keep recalling this little boy that talked to Mike and I ...
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I've been taking my vitamins. I just had my prenatal check up and had some blood drawn. My work-up while I was in the hospital showed low Protein S levels. The doctor isn't sure if they were low because of the pregnancy of it's a constant thing, so she ordered a blood test. If it is a constant thing, we'll have to do something about clotting during the next pregnancy. I still want to know why Robin died, even though I know we'll never get an answer. I think I'm always going to feel like I fai...
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