My husband, oldest brother in law, and I went to their aunt and uncle's house for a Wii Dancing night a few nights ago. (My dancing consisted of sitting on the sofa waving the remote around. I was almost the top scorer.) While we were there though. Our seven year old cousin asked me if I could change a diaper while I was holding our eight month old cousin (born only weeks after losing Robin). I told him yes, I knew how to change a diaper. He asked, "Why do you know how to change a diaper if y...

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Mike finally read to one of our babies in the womb. He waited and waited to talk to Robin because he wanted to know whether it was a boy or girl first and then the opportunity was gone. On Christmas he wrapped a book for Baby Bear and I got to unwrap. It was How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Last night he read it to my belly and the dogs on the bed. I used to read to Robin and the dogs would come in and lay on the couch or the bed to listen (and fall asleep). I haven't worked up the nerve to st...
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We had the anatomy scan today. I prepared myself for the absolute worst and felt like throwing up at the end of it. We're 18 weeks and 5 days pregnant. We've made it past the point that Robin had left us. Last week's appointment had Dr. Stone guessing the baby was a girl because of what looked like a "hamburger" but she did say not to run out and buy anything since her equipment is so old and there is a lot of growth between week 17 and week 18. The ultrasound tech at the high risk office tha...
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These pains are just something I'm going to have to live with, but I'm A-ok with it. Our baby is a bundle of movement with a very strong heart beat. I got a prescription for my migraines. Hopefully this is works as it's our last defense for them. But at this point I'll suffer through anything. Our anatomy scan is on December 22nd and I'm a bundle of nerves.

My doctor did a sonogram to give me peace of mind and she made a strong guess as to the baby's sex but the machine isn't the best quality...
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Yesterday was Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Everyone who has been affected by the loss of a baby is to light a candle at 7pm their local time to be a part of a wave of light going across the country. I know some people had a very difficult time yesterday. I didn't. There are more specific days that are painful to me. I felt like I wasn't alone yesterday, even though I technically was home all by myself. But I felt like I wasn't the only one lighting a candle and having a short mo...
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