Prepare for the Worst, Hope for the Best
Posted by Amanda Hill on Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Under: Medical
That's the motto we're going with right now.
I had my first OB appointment for this pregnancy yesterday. It's awful sitting in that waiting room and in those exam rooms. I keep thinking that I shouldn't be there. I should be home with my baby. I pass a door and I think, "That's where they found no heartbeat" and "That's where they put us so I could try and pull myself together." Sometimes I think I should have found a different doctor but for some reason I want to give them another chance.
Dr. Stone isn't giving me bubbly optimism, which I appreciate. It validates my anxiety though, and I don't know if that's good or bad. I'm five weeks in, and they did a vaginal sonogram. I was expecting to not see anything since it's so early but it's still gut wrenching to not have anything come up on the screen. The only tiny sigh of relief I could breathe is that there is a sign of a tiny sac in the uterus so it looks like it's where it's supposed to be, although it's not a certainty. I could relax the minutest bit because I've been having cramps on my left side and I've been worrying about an ectopic pregnancy. For the time being, it looks like that's a worry I can scratch off the list.
I have an appointment in two weeks to do another sonogram to see what can be seen. Mike's already told his oldest brother but I think I want to wait until this second appointment before I start writing my letters to everyone.
I've decided I'd rather give a personalized letter to everyone spelling out what we want and don't want. I don't want to hear that they'll be praying for us or that there might have been something wrong with the first one. And I want it clear to everyone that this baby is not a replacement for Robin. This is our second child, no matter how he/she comes into the world.
I had my first OB appointment for this pregnancy yesterday. It's awful sitting in that waiting room and in those exam rooms. I keep thinking that I shouldn't be there. I should be home with my baby. I pass a door and I think, "That's where they found no heartbeat" and "That's where they put us so I could try and pull myself together." Sometimes I think I should have found a different doctor but for some reason I want to give them another chance.
Dr. Stone isn't giving me bubbly optimism, which I appreciate. It validates my anxiety though, and I don't know if that's good or bad. I'm five weeks in, and they did a vaginal sonogram. I was expecting to not see anything since it's so early but it's still gut wrenching to not have anything come up on the screen. The only tiny sigh of relief I could breathe is that there is a sign of a tiny sac in the uterus so it looks like it's where it's supposed to be, although it's not a certainty. I could relax the minutest bit because I've been having cramps on my left side and I've been worrying about an ectopic pregnancy. For the time being, it looks like that's a worry I can scratch off the list.
I have an appointment in two weeks to do another sonogram to see what can be seen. Mike's already told his oldest brother but I think I want to wait until this second appointment before I start writing my letters to everyone.
I've decided I'd rather give a personalized letter to everyone spelling out what we want and don't want. I don't want to hear that they'll be praying for us or that there might have been something wrong with the first one. And I want it clear to everyone that this baby is not a replacement for Robin. This is our second child, no matter how he/she comes into the world.
In : Medical