Yesterday was Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Everyone who has been affected by the loss of a baby is to light a candle at 7pm their local time to be a part of a wave of light going across the country. I know some people had a very difficult time yesterday. I didn't. There are more specific days that are painful to me. I felt like I wasn't alone yesterday, even though I technically was home all by myself. But I felt like I wasn't the only one lighting a candle and having a short monologue to the baby I never got to meet. I did cry a little, but it wasn't devastating. I didn't pray or talk to any gods. I only talked to Robin and told her thank you for everything she gave me, including the chance for this child to be brought into the world. I try not to think about it, but sometimes my mind turns to the thought that we were supposed to have this baby more than Robin and so she gave up her place. That could be just my mind trying to make something logical of the illogical so I try to not think about it at all. I just know that I miss my baby so much, even though I know we're getting a second chance here.