I've been taking my vitamins. I just had my prenatal check up and had some blood drawn. My work-up while I was in the hospital showed low Protein S levels. The doctor isn't sure if they were low because of the pregnancy of it's a constant thing, so she ordered a blood test. If it is a constant thing, we'll have to do something about clotting during the next pregnancy. I still want to know why Robin died, even though I know we'll never get an answer. I think I'm always going to feel like I failed everyone. I don't want to do that again. We're waiting for my next "cycle" to finish before we start trying again. I don't think Mike understands my explanation but I think he just wants me to be happy. I want to have a "clean house" for our next little seed to grow in. I also don't want to start trying and hope that something has stuck when we've actually already missed my ovulation and then feel like everything is crashing down when my cycle actually does start. I'd also like my body to build up more of its stores with the vitamins. I'm nervous as hell about trying again. But for all my complaining, I really did love being pregnant. I never got to feel her move or kick inside of me. I never got to reach that milestone with her. I still need that little bit of extra time to ready myself mentally for the emotional upcoming (hopefully) roller coaster.